Losing Time Regrets

Lost time… How many times have I thought about lost time? Years on a pointless pursuit of a you and me, chasing a dream that was shattered in the end. Promises… broken. What a waste of my… time…

Why would I feel that? Why wish I had known what I know now – sooner? What is it that I look back upon – with regret?

Lying here in the middle of night, complete darkness surrounding me, like a wounded animal, with all this pain, unable to move. I feel hurt. So much.

Because a moment ago I wanted to freeze it all, wanted it all to stand still forever, be there, forever. Only… to watch it fall apart, vanish, leave me behind, on my own. I desperately didn’t want you to go. And from one moment to the next – there was nothing. Black, and out.

Why a waste of time? When I wanted the very thing I regret now to be there forever? Because I didn’t have it in me to hold it back, for it to never change? Or to do exactly that? Where was the tipping point? When did I decide that I should have moved on – sooner?

This journey… from there to here, further, into the unknown. I couldn’t see forever there. And here? And how long does here last?

My mystical Gold Digger. I will go back and dig out shiny grains of sand. This dried up river bank… will take me back to the moment… where I feel my love – again.

To bring it back here to linger, into the unknown. Not even you can stop me from finding the treasures you left behind.

From time to time…